...

i think i need you,
but i know i've lost you.

5.23.10

Well, it's official. Abe and I are together.(:

Today, I have:

Gained a boyfriend.
Lost a piercing (Infection, took it out, repiercing it when i'm older.)
Smoked my first cigarette in a few weeks with Lance & Lucas.
Been happy, sad, scared, and excited.

Now I just want summer to end so I can start high school.

lip piercing ! :D

after years of admiring people that have them, i am now one of those people. i look amazing.
it looks a little uneven, but that's not anything i can't fix.

i like abe. <3

(:

you've changed so much this past year man. but one thing has stayed the same throughout all of our changes; we were there for each other no matter what, all of eighth grade year. you don't care what they say, you believe me. seventh hour has always been one hour that passes too quickly. we've told each other so many things, i know everything about you and you know everything about me. and you still like to spend time with me. and i know you're dating hannah and it's obvious how jealous she is. i just wish she'd see that we're only best friends. and not the time of best friends you two were. you can both trust me, but yet you're the only one that believes it. you are the most amazing best friend i've had in a while, and i hope that the two of us can be this way again in our first year of high school cause we make damn good memories.
fuck benson, miss you man.

&

it's over.
it's all over.
every little bit.

seventh grade, feels like a dream. like it wasn't even real, it happened so long ago. joey. everyone, it just doesn't seem real. especially joey. i remember, i fell so hard. so fucking hard. and now, a year and a half later, i'm thinking back on it and it doesn't seem like it ever happened. like i never knew a joey idlett. like he never changed my life.

middle school and it's adventures are nothing but the past. i can close the book and read it in my thirties and cry a little. middle school is over. all those memories are finally just little kid memories.

i'm so shocked. everything is over. i can start a new adventure, whilst remembering the old ones that made me grow up.
i've changed since the sixth grade, and now sixth grade feels like it was so long ago. like a thousand years tore me and my old self apart. i'm not the same, im different. and it's all because i grew up in a school that i loved.

and now i'm going on, moving on. things are changing for me. senior year, i probably won't remember any of this. feeling this way. but i know it will have been four years ago, and that just blows my mind.

i guess this blog is weird. what hurts is that joey kid. and how long ago it was that i fell for him, but yet it feels so... so much like yesterday.

but soon, today will be nothing but another yesterday and today, too, will be over. just, like, that.

you are the one,

the one that lies close to me.
whispers, 'hello, i've missed you quite terribly.."

i loove thunder.

Thunder the cat. Which is why I cried hysterically when we couldn't take her to shelter.
Fuck Oklahoma and our bipolar weather system.