i'm not over you.

"yeah, he's a looker, but i really think it's guts that matter most."

I swear to you, that this is the one time those lyrics actually touch me.
I'm relating, and I don't know whether to say that it feels... okay, or that it feels terrible.
Either way, it thrills me. So much that I try to feel like this nearly every day.

And sometimes, it just hits me.
I'm just sitting there, minding my own business, and then it hits me.
And then everything gets so complicated; I start to over-think and then, I'm trapped.
I feel memories in my veins, and I feel sorrow, but I smile. It's bittersweet.

And I know I'm not the only one.
And that makes me wish that I was,
If I could find one thing that makes me different, I'd be at my all time best.

But my feelings vary with the song I listen to.
Even if it's a song I haven't heard in a while, or one that I'm embarrassed to be caught listening to,
It still hits me like a rock.
No, not a rock.
A big, fat, ugly firetruck-colored, brick.